Dear Maa,
I’ve started this letter in my head a thousand times, usually when I’m driving home from a long day or right before I fall asleep. But for some reason, the words always seem to get stuck somewhere between my heart . We talk about the weather, what’s for dinner, or the latest news, but we rarely talk about the things that actually matter. So,I’m writing this because I couldn’t say it out loud or maybe I didn’t have the courage. But there are things you deserve to hear, things every daughter feels but rarely says.
I don’t just see you as my mother, but also as God’s child. For a long time, I only saw you through the lens of what you could do for me. You were the one who fixed the problems, found the lost socks, and kept the world spinning. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve started to see the "you" behind the "Mom." I see how you never gave your own dreams the space they deserved, but somehow carried mine like they were yours protecting them, believing in them, even when I didn’t. I sometimes think that you had a whole life, a whole heart and a whole set of fears before I ever came along. Maybe I just never had the courage to say how much you mean to me. You’ve always been strong but I’m starting to understand that even you need reassurance too. There was a time when I thought I knew everything, and your repeated advice felt more like interference than care. I remember how it used to irritate me the same things, over and over which followed by my eye-rolls, slammed doors, and one-word replies. I didn’t realize then that your "nagging" was actually just a different language for "I love you and I want you to be safe." I was so busy trying to find my own identity that I didn't realize I was pushing away the person who knew me best. Thank you for the things I never noticed. I’m starting to realize that the hardest parts of motherhood are the invisible ones. Thank you for the nights you stayed up when I was sick, even though you had to work the next morning. Thank you for being the person I could always vent to, even when I wasn't very nice about it. Thank you for holding everything together in ways I never noticed before the small details, the quiet effort, the love in everything you did. I see it now, and it means the world to me. Every celebration feels a little empty without you. You’ve always been my superwoman.
I’m growing into someone like you, and I’m grateful for that because becoming a good human is what truly matters.I used to laugh when people said I sounded like you or looked like you. I’d joke, "Oh no, I’m nothing like her!" When I look at you, I feel like this is what God must be like quietly protecting, endlessly caring, loving without conditions. And if I ever become anything in life, I hope I become a little like you, strong, full of dreams, and powerful in the way you’ve always been. You are my constant, my safety net, and my friend.
I don’t say it enough, and maybe I won’t say it tomorrow either but I hope you feel it in this letter. I love you, I admire you, and I’m so lucky to be your daughter. Every day should be Mother’s Day for you, because you deserve all the care and love you’ve always given.
Love you, Maa.
